yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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