you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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