I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
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downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
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why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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