bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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