Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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