i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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