it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
only if we run a train.
done.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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