I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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