Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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