If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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