My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
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I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
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He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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