But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
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Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
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Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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