just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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