I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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