I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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