Yo dont text me then not text me
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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