you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
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She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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