that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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