Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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