Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Drunk is not a location!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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