LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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