I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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