I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize