I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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