anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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