He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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