Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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