I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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