Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
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Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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