i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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