the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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