I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize