Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize