i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize