I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
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I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
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My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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