Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize