does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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