I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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