She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
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i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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