You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize