She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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