Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize