just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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