ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
soo... how was my night?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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