My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize