we made out on top of his cat.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we're making bets on your personal life
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He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
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In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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