Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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