I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize