HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize