you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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