Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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